


band-aids

by greenteasunsets



Category: Cobra Starship, The Academy Is...
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Breakups, I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26495941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenteasunsets/pseuds/greenteasunsets
Summary: William and Gabe breakup.
Relationships: William Beckett/Gabe Saporta
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	band-aids

**Author's Note:**

> hi! sorry if this is lowkey bad,, i just like emotional things :> enjoy!

Break-ups suck.

Especially when you're still madly in love with the person that ended it.

I know William was trying to do what was right, in retrospect. We both have busy schedules. Sometimes I wouldn't see him for a week because I had to make a trip back to New York. Sometimes he'd be going on tour and I wasn't, so it's even longer before we'd see each-other. 

Sometimes he'd think I was cheating when I wasn't. And I would never.

_"Gabe, I'm not entirely sure if we'll..work. I think you're moving too fast at times- and I'm not moving fast enough. When you're gone wherever for more than a week, I feel like you aren't thinking about me. It's scary."_

" _Then, what? Does this mean we're breaking up?"_

_"I'm afraid so."_

After a few words that I still regret saying and a shove, I left.

I wanted to forget and pretend our mini fight never happened. 

And when I want to forget, I drink.

When I want to drown out my feelings, I sleep with other people. 

So I did. 

I slept with others.

And lying in bed knowing I did that, I feel fucking _awful_.

I still have to fly back to Illinois so I can get my things from William's apartment. 

It's been 2 weeks since our breakup, and he's called once on the night it happened. I ignored it, being too occupied with the random blonde I'd been fucking at 4 am.

I listened to his voicemail in the morning.

_"Hello? Um. Oh. Gabe..? I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I don't want you to be mad. I just- I don't know. Please come back. I don't want you hurting yourself or doing anything you'd regret. I miss you. Come back and we can talk this out."_

After listening to it and the way his voice cracked after every few words, I went to a bar and got drunk out of my mind.

I eventually flew back to Nyc with all that I had on me, and no other calls came. I wish he would call, because I don't know if I can listen to the voicemail he left over and over again. 

I'm too afraid to speak to him, but I have to at some point. I mean, I'm going to have to pick up my stuff. Maybe I can do it in the morning when he's sleeping.

I set my phone down, his words ringing loudly in my ears. I just need to sleep the feeling off.

*

No matter who it is that I crawl into bed with, I can only think of William.

Their moans morph into his. 

Holding their hips, I can only imagine William's. 

I dig my fingers into their hair, and I can only imagine the brown silky waves falling between my fingers.

I can't seem to forget about him.

Even when I'm alone, he runs around in my mind. Memories replay along with his stupid fucking amazing voice.

I know it's unlikely, but I wonder if there's a chance we'll ever get back together.

Or maybe we're made for eachother, and this is just a test.

A test that I feel like I'm succeeding at and failing at the same time.

I just wish I hadn't been so mean. When people leave me, I tend to..lash out. I don't like people seeing me upset, so the next thing my brain resorts to is anger.

All I know is that the only thing I want to do right now is hold him and fall asleep with him pressed against my chest.

I guess strangers and the cold air will have to do for now, though.

*

_"I hate you."_

_William reaches out to touch my shoulder. "It's for the be-"_

_I shove him back and away from me. I can see the hurt in his eyes and hear the pained noise in his throat._

_"I'm sorry-" He breathes, keeping to himself_

_"Gabe.."_

_"Don't talk to me ever again." I swallow the lump growing in my throat, and turn to open the door. I expect Bill to stop me, but he doesn't._

_He doesn't move or say anything._

_I slam the door and don't look back._

*

I press my key to the lock, and take a breath in.

I'm praying he's asleep.

I check my watch. 

5:14 am.

Without thinking any more, I shove the key in and twist it. I open the door, and creep into the apartment as quietly as possible.

I close the door behind me, and set my two bags down.

There are beer bottles on the coffee table, and the room is colder than ever.

It feels incredibly lonely. I hate it.

I decide to stop wasting my time analyzing the room and walk over to our bedroom.

_His._

The door isn't fully shut, so I peek through the crack.

William is sleeping soundly, and _fuck_ does he look beautiful.

He's always been a sight for sore eyes. I don't know why I'm that surprised if I'm honest.

I just haven't seen him in so long.

I open the door, wincing at the light creak of the hinges.

I tip-toe inside, now thankful for the carpeting we have that I've always hated.

I begin looking around for my clothes, which are mostly mixed in with his on the floor. 

I manage to recognize about four shirts and two pairs of pants that belong to  
me, and pile them up in the bag.

I do, however, notice a shirt of his.

It's an AFI band tee. I remember buying it for him at the merch table when we saw them in 2006 because he mentioned how he really liked the show. You could sort of call it one of our first dates, since we were alone. And kissed like, twice.

I impulsively add it to the pile in my duffel bag because, _hey_ ,I can always give it back.

Just as I'm about to leave the room, I hear a soft groan come from William.

I think, _shit_ , and try to leave as quickly as I can. But since I'm all of a sudden 60 fucking years old, I don't make it out in time for William to not notice my presence.

"Gabe?"

I stand still, not knowing what the fuck to do. 

I hear him sit up, and when I turn, he's squinting at me.

"Hi."

He stays silent, seemingly in shock.

"I just um, stopped by to get my things. Sorry if I woke you up."

He doesn't say anything.

"I'll go-"

"No. Stay." He purses his lips and the urgency in his tone worries me a little.

This could go one of two ways. I a. get defensive and rude, or b. have sex with him.

Or I could just leave.

But the look on his face makes me want to stay so _so_ bad.

"Okay." I clear my throat and drop my bag on the floor.

*

I wish I would've chosen option c. because I didn't have it in me to hurt him like that again, so I resorted to b.

I'm reluctant to turn my head so I can look at him. I can hear William's heavy breathing, and then feel his eyes on me.

I'm weak.

I turn my head towards him, and he has a dazed look on his face.

"I'm sorry." I end up telling him.

"For what? The sex?"

I mentally roll my eyes, "No. You know what I mean."

"Oh."

I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it. But we need to, even if I don't either.

"Yeah."

"I shouldn't have lashed out like that. And, you're right. Maybe we won't work."

"No," William turns so he's on his side, and propped up on his elbow.

"I wasn't right."

I wait for him to speak again. He looks bothered.

"I'm just scared."

"Of what?" I ask.

"That you'll stop loving me. Like, if you're on tour, you'll meet someone better than me. And you'd forget about me..so if I broke it off first I wouldn't be the one getting heartbroken."

"William-" Well, fuck.

"It's stupid, I know." He looks down, avoiding my eyes.

"It's not."

He glances up at me.

"The entire time I was gone, I couldn't stop thinking about you; I've missed you so fucking much. I would _never_ cheat on you." I lift my hand to his face and gently stroke his cheek. I can tell he's on the verge of tears.

"I just..."

"It's okay." I pull him against me, and he rests his head on my chest. I run my fingers through his hair, knowing it usually calms him.

"I love you," He lifts his head to look at me.

"I love you too." I lean forward just enough so I'm able to kiss him. It's slow and sweet, and I'm savoring every moment of it. I almost forgot how soft his lips are.

After awhile he breaks away and smiles at me.

I run my thumb over his cheekbone, "From now on, you're coming on tour with me. Okay?" 

"You too. And okay, Gabanti." He pecks my lips, and I pull him closer.

Maybe I've passed the test.


End file.
